I am a deeply superficial person.
-- Andy Warhol
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Leave no stone unturned.
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Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted;
persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting
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-- Mark Twain, "Tom Sawyer"
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persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting
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-- Mark Twain, "Tom Sawyer"

Q: How many journalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three. One to report it as an inspired government program to bring
light to the people, one to report it as a diabolical government plot
to deprive the poor of darkness, and one to win a Pulitzer prize for
reporting that Electric Company hired a light bulb-assassin to break
the bulb in the first place.
buy cialis cheap cialisI always will remember -- I was in no mood to trifle;
'Twas a year ago November -- I got down my trusty rifle
I went out to shoot some deer And went out to stalk my prey --
On a morning bright and clear. What a haul I made that day!
I went and shot the maximum I tied them to my bumper and
The game laws would allow: I drove them home somehow,
Two game wardens, seven hunters, Two game wardens, seven hunters,
And a cow. And a cow.

The Law was very firm, it People ask me how I do it
Took away my permit-- And I say, "There's nothin' to it!
The worst punishment I ever endured. You just stand there lookin' cute,
It turns out there was a reason: And when something moves, you shoot."
Cows were out of season, and And there's ten stuffed heads
One of the hunters wasn't insured. In my trophy room right now:
Two game wardens, seven hunters,
my And a pure-bred guernsey cow.
-- Tom Lehrer, "The Hunting Song"
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reporting that Electric Company hired a light bulb-assassin to break
the bulb in the first place.

Peter Griffin: So if I accidentally walk through you, does that mean that we've,
you know, done it?
Ghost: Geez, what's with you and the gay jokes?
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Traffic jam on the Information Superhighway.
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you know, done it?
Ghost: Geez, what's with you and the gay jokes?

If God didn't mean for us to juggle, tennis balls wouldn't come three to a can.
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When you make your mark in the world, watch out for guys with erasers.
-- The Wall Street Journal
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War is never imperative.
-- McCoy, "Balance of Terror", stardate 1709.2
buy phentermine cheap phentermineUh... deity is a word, and diety isn't.

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m T -- Guy Maor
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-- McCoy, "Balance of Terror", stardate 1709.2

"I am a person who recognizes the fallacy of humans."

George W. Bush
September 19, 2000
Comment made on TV talk show, Oprah.
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-- Admiral William Halsey
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George W. Bush
September 19, 2000
Comment made on TV talk show, Oprah.

You just wait, I'll sin till I blow up!
-- Dylan Thomas
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-- Dylan Thomas

Am I elected yet?
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Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode 3G03
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You can do more with a kind word and a gun than with just a kind word.
- Al Capone
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Back in the 80s, businessmen hoped that computers would usher in a
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usher in a computerless office. "We've lost more productivity this last
decade to shoddy software," explained Mr. Lou Dight, the author of the
bestselling book, "The Dotless Revolution". "By getting rid of computers
and their infernal crashes, bluescreens, and worst of all, Solitaire, the
US gross domestic product will soar by 20% over the next decade. It's time
to banish Microsoft crapware from our corporate offices."

Lou Dight is the champion of a new trend in corporate America towards the
return of pen-and-paper, solar calculators, old IBM typewriters, and even
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